Thursday, December 17, 2009
I'm finally back, but many things happened while I was away...
My granduncle had passed away, he went when I was in my second day at camp. Apparently no one had the sense to inform me about it even though I called home everyday.
Finally finished planning my lesson for physics, pretty heavy stuff this time... hope my student won't die from the brain drain.
Learnt a lot of things in camp. Like how God will wreck my life. Let me explain, once you experienced something so good and amazing, you will get wrecked for life. Like after eating the famous ba chor mee in Ang Mo Kio, every ba chor mee I eat can't come close to the standard of the mee in AMK. So every other ba chor mee I eat from now on just won't taste as good since I'm comparing it to the one in AMK.
Likewise, having experienced the greatness of God in my life makes me feel that everything else will pale in comparison because He is just that good.
Recently fell out with a close friend of mine, which makes me kinda sad... to her, everything I say is just rubbish, and she can't trust me anymore. Personally, I've already done the best I could and I still am. But if this is the way things have to be then it's out of my control. But I won't give up, because I don't want to lose the few friends I have left.
I found out that I'm able to open myself up again... in fact more than before... I used to be afraid of so many things... making promises, the future, falling in love... but now I feel a sense of peace.
Promises feel satisfying whenever I'm able to carry them out faithfully.
The future can be moulded, I used to focus on the things that are out of my control, but now I realised that I can control my future by paying attention to the things within my control instead. Such as my attitude towards problems.
Finding love is still very much an important part of my life, but at the same time, it isn't as if it's my life itself. If I do find love then good for me, if not, it's alright too. It's not as if I don't care anymore... I just believe that there's a time for everything, and it just simply isn't my time at this moment.
I think I've grown up a little after this camp. I still care a lot about the same things I used to care about, but now, I just feel peace in my heart. I mean storms come and go in life. Loved ones will pass away. Friends will leave.
Though we all cling onto things important to us, holding on to things not meant to be will just bring suffering to all involved. Sometimes we have to wait, sometimes we have to let go, and sometimes we just have to love things just the way they are. Someone once said that,"There are things that are beautiful because one cannot possess them." Acceptance is the key.
Labels: random stuff
Signing off at...
11:24 PM
