Wednesday, January 5, 2011
It's been awhile since I had a post for discussions hahas... I wanna share something I realized while reflecting on the year 2010 as I planned my New Year Resolutions hahas... The topic this time would be on pain.
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Each time you get hurt, you come out of it a little stronger, and at some point you realize that there are more flavours of pain than ice-cream. There's the little empty pain of leaving something behind - graduating, taking the next step forward, walking out of something familiar and safe into the unknown. There's the big whirling pain of life upending all your plans and expectations. There's the sharp little pains of failure, and the more obscure aches of successes that didn't give you what they thought they would. There are the vicious, stabbing pains of hopes being torn up. The sweet little pains of finding others, giving them your love, and taking joy in their life as they grow and learn. There's the steady pain of empathy that you shrug off so you can stand beside a wounded friend and help them bear their burdens.
And if you're very, very lucky, there are very few blazing hot little pains you feel when you realize that you are standing in a moment of utter perfection, an instant of triumph, or happiness, or mirth which at the same time cannot possibly last - and yet will remain with you for life. Everyone is down on pain, because they forget something important about it: pain is for the living. Only the dead don't feel it.
Pain is a part of life. Sometimes it's a big part, and sometimes it isn't, but either way it teaches you, tells you you're alive. Then it passes away and leaves you changed. It leaves you wiser, sometimes. Sometimes it leaves you stronger. Either way, pain leaves its mark, and everything important that will ever happen to you in life is going to involve it in one degree or another.
Labels: Discussion, random stuff
Signing off at...
1:49 PM
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Discussion: Circles of Control
As a guy I face pressures in life that I cannot escape from, such as being a defender of the people close to me, or going to NS, or being a good role model for my younger brother. Some things I cannot escape from and even if I feel unprepared to face it, it is beyond my control.
Pressures are always placed upon us no matter where we go or how old we get in life. To the extent that we sometimes feel that we just can't take any more and start to break down. There are always many things beyond our control, it is simply a fact of life.
Let's take a look at some of the things I struggle with as a guy:
Some things are really messed up, such as the weather and NS. Some troublesome, such as studies. And some daunting, such as being a breadwinner. But as if that's not enough, as a Christian I face pressures as a result of my faith that are outside my circle of control as well:
So just what am I supposed to do? If my life is so confined by what I can't control and since nearly everything is not under my power to decide anyway... Why don't I just drift through life? It's not like my choices can make a difference anyway...
WRONG!
If people start thinking in this way, it means that they have started to confine themselves and bind their free will with self-made chains. We have to admit that there are things that we cannot control, and those things can't be helped. But never forget that we always have our choices. Instead of focusing on the things we cannot control. We should pay more attention on the things we can.
We can control the way we think. Something which separates humans from animals is the ability to think and reason beyond emotion. Instead of reacting to the situations in life with hostility, apprehension or, indeed, reacting at all, we should instead be directing the course of our lives.
I know it's a little deep, let me give an analogy: You slapped a person. If that person is someone who reacts, he/she would probably slap you back, or cry, or get angry. But if that person is someone who directs, then he/she would consider the implications of reacting, such as the consequences, or the sequence of events leading up to the slap, maybe you had a valid reason for slapping him/her, maybe reacting based on emotion would destroy what relationship the both of you have left. Bearing this in mind, that person would choose to direct their emotions and effort to try to settle the issue in the best way possible, refusing to give in to their base emotions.
The Bible says that,"He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered."(Proverbs 28:26) The world tells us to "Follow your heart!" or "Trust in your feelings!". And just because it sounds noble and romantic many people do choose to follow it. The problem is that following your heart usually means chasing after whatever feels right at the moment whether or not it's actually right. It means throwing caution and conscience to the wind and pursuing your latest desires and whims regardless of what good logic and counsel are saying.
Following this line of thought, to decide to put more weight in what your heart as compared to your head is foolish. Emotions often tell us what we truly desire at the moment, and they can be a useful guide for good decisions. But they must first be tempered by experience and, whenever the chance arises, time to use our brains to analyse and think things through in their entirety.
We are not animals that live our lives based on instinct and emotion alone. We are humans that have the ability to direct the course of our lives. We may make good decisions and just as often make bad ones, but no matter what our choices are, we are the ones who decide it, and those decisions are what's within our circle of control.
We may not be able to control what happens to us, but we can control our attitude towards it. And to a greater extent, we always can alter things that are even outside our circle of control.
Take family for example, we may not be able to control what kind of family we're born into, but we can control the way we build our relationship with our family.
Another example would be the weather, we can't control when it rains or shines, but we can control whether or not we'll get wet or stay dry by choosing to bring an umbrella out.
We can't control everything, but we can influence it in some way or another. The key is to have the right attitude to deal with the things we can control, instead of brooding on the things we can't. Also, attitude comes from conscious knowledge which comes from the mind, not the heart.
The heart can teach us many things, but it cannot and should not teach us how to live our lives. The only exception to this is when your heart finds something bigger than itself, something worth dying for. That's when the heart can pursue it with all it's determination and hope.
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Change your thoughts and you change your world.
Labels: Discussion, random stuff
Signing off at...
2:03 AM
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Discussion: Relationships (general)
I know I haven't been posting recently, mainly due to my 'A' levels... revision revision revision... hahas... well looks like i won't be posting a full discussion... haven't really been getting any comments... hahas...
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Relationships with other people will always happen, whether we like it or not. But in today's time and age, BGRs are something which we desire and often dive in without really considering the consequences and the commitment needed to make it work. More and more commonly I hear people telling me that it's just for fun or experience.
RUBBISH!
Going into a relationship for the sake of fun is one of the most childish and immature things I've ever heard(ooh... wait a minute... childish and immature mean the same thing...ahem moving on...). having a close relationship with another human is a precious occurrence, as people in today's world... filled with scepticism and distrust... being able to rely and trust someone without doubts is even more valuable don't you agree?
And so, having "fun" is akin to playing around with another person's heart and reliance on you. Which sounds downright childish and irresponsible doesn't it?
I mean the whole point of dating is to achieve that final goal, which is marriage. We date to see what would sharing our life with another person would be like, and if things work out, eventually get married.
By this definition, it is only appropriate if we get into a steady boy-girl relationship only and ONLY if we're prepared to be committed to marriage. Scary but true. Most people don't even have this in mind when they become a couple. I'm not saying that is wrong, but come on... don't go starting relationships when you don't even know what you want out of it.
Common excuses:
1) I want to be pampered and doted on
Your parents have pampered and doted on you all your life
2) Just for fun, why so serious?
One word: immature
3) I need my other half
Heck, you weren't born as a couple with someone else right? We all came into this world alone(with the exception of twins, triplets, quadruplets, etc.)
4) My friends are all attached and I feel lonely
It's not your responsibility to live everyone else's life for them, just your own.
5) I just want to have all the fun I can while I'm young. I mean what's wrong with playing with peoples' hearts? If I don't do it then someone else will.
There is a special place in hell for people like you
There's more I want to say but unfortunately... time doesn't allow it... study study study... maybe I'll post more next time.
Labels: Discussion, random stuff
Signing off at...
2:39 PM
